The swing of the pendulum leads to center | Ep. 19
The swing of the pendulum leads to the center. yesterday, I had a chat with my coach about loneliness. About the feeling that happens when you lock yourself up with willpower and dedicate yourself to a mission.
The old identity will have to be burned off in order to step into the role of someone who can complete the current mission. The challenge is that the old identity has built a home inside of your head. This identity is full of deep roots that reach far into the cracks and corners of your mind.
In order to flush this old you out you’ll need to go deep away from things that give it power, away from the pool of distractions. That means seclusion. Like a rehab center for an addict. It’s time to remove yourself from the reward cues of the old identity.
And part of those cues might be your social life, your dating life, your TV… Just like fasting for the soul, or letting a field life follow, blocked from the sun and rain you will need to burrow in the abyss of your cocoon.
In this process, it might feel like you are swinging on a pendulum between intense highs and lows. This is the death of the old identity, the victory of your willpower, the rebirth of your new mission. On one side of the pendulum swing, your ego will kick and thrash… at that side of the pendulum your ego plows you into depression, squirming and screaming “get me out of here” - begging and pleading for an end to the seclusion, an end to the fast.
On the other side of the pendulum, as you maintain your seclusion, you will find intense almost perverse pleasure in seclusion to the point where your ego might say something along the lines of “I never want to leave this spot… I’ll just hide here forever”
And you’ll binge in indulgences rationalizing that you “earned” it.
And you continue to swing.
Back and forth back and forth
The game is to hold on as long as possible until you reach the center. Once the pendulum slows and then stops, you have achieved victory over the old identity and have found peace with the new.
